So I was thinking that I'd better take a break. Remember last week when I talked about having so much going on and so much on my mind? Well, I think it would be smart for me to take a thing or two off my plate while I square some things away. This will be my first and last post for the month. I'll be back April 7th! In the meantime, catch up on any posts you may have missed. 

Thanks for your support and see ya next month!

So I was thinking about a plethora of things, so much that I forgot to prepare a post for last Wednesday. I started to beat myself up about it because of the commitment I made to consistency for this year. I quickly put the whip down and gave myself grace when I remembered that I have published at least 2 extra posts since I started, so it balances out. 
There's so much, I don't even know where to start or how to start or if I should even start. How much should I/do I want/need to share?? Is there a limit to my transparency??? I'll just let my fingers do the talking and see where they land.

• So I was thinking about all the irons I have in the fire. Chile. I am doing the absolute most right now and I'm wondering if I've taken on too much. However, I feel like everything I'm doing MUST be done...RIGHT NOW. Jesus be a safe energy drink. 🙏🏾 
• So I was thinking about my age. I will be 60 in a little over 18 years. I don't know what made this particular detail of the thought cross my mind, but it freaked me out when it did!
• So I was thinking about my future. Will I accomplish all the things I've set out to do? Will I have the impact that I hope?? Will I have the success I desire??? Will I meet Usher and Oprah? (I was cracking up as I typed that last one but all of these are real thoughts!) Oh and no matter what the future holds, will I endure it alone or with companionship?
• So I was thinking about vacations. I'm longing to lie out in the sun on a beach or by a pool next to the swim-up bar. I look forward to doing more international travel and I've been having a strong urge to visit Amsterdam...
• So I was thinking about my son's future. I'm nervous and trembling and hopeful and guilt-ridden and prayerful and frightened and confused and wishing I was clairvoyant and and and 
• So I was thinking about death. How it surrounds me. How it's guaranteed, unavoidable, inevitable, and expected, but still catches you off guard regardless of the mode or time.

Add that to thinking about the weather, COVID pounds, what I'm going to read next, what I'm going to watch next, all the things I might be able to do to make money, how much money I need, how I'm going to boost my credit, my purpose, my mistakes, grammar, what REALLY went down at Cynthia Bailey's bachelorette party, where I can get the cheapest gas, the crab cake slider at White Castle, the age, height, birth place, number of marriages, death date/cause, etc of every person I can think of in pop culture, being Black, Kimye, and the list goes on. My head is spinning. 
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Sooooooooo...what are YOU thinking??

So I was thinking I'd have waaaaaaay more to say. I went ahead and got vaccinated 12 days ago. It was quick and the actual shot hurt less than a flu shot. I had extreme arm pain for about a day and a half. Since then, things have been rather uneventful. Thankfully, other than the heavy, piercing brick that seemed to be in my arm for 36 hours, there were no adverse effects. I didn't grow or lose any limbs, go blind, or die...not even any fever or fatigue. I received the Pfizer vaccine and I get the second dosage in 9 days. People have been telling me that the second dose will have me down and out for about a half day to 3 days, but I hope to dodge that bullet too. I'll keep y'all posted.

Announcement: The Optimistic Divorcees are back!! After 4 years, Shari and I have done a reboot and The Optimistic Divorcees Podcast launched this past Monday! We're optimistic about life, real about love, and looking forward to sharing our thoughts, experiences, insight, and laughs. We have a great line-up of interesting topics and awesome guests and you do NOT want to miss any of it! New episodes will air every Monday on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Stitcher, and Spotify. Go now, subscribe, listen, and rate...you can write a review too. Lastly spread the word!! Our podcast isn't JUST for divorcees. We'll be speaking on topics surrounding different aspects of relationships that anyone can relate to. You can follow us on Instagram at @TheOptDivorcees or search The Optimistic Divorcees on Facebook to stay in the loop.

So I was thinking about how I'll be getting the COVID-19 vaccine in 2 days. Or how maybe I won't get the COVID-19 vaccine in 2 days. 🤔 I signed up about 2 weeks ago and I have changed my mind 63 times since. I've thought and thought and thought and read articles and watched videos and asked people's opinions (medical professionals and otherwise) and of course prayed about it. People have legitimate fears about receiving the vaccine. The apprehension is understandable and even shared a bit, but I'm mostly leaning toward getting it. I have people in my life who have tried to convince me not to get the vaccine, but thankfully it was done with nothing but pure love and concern. Cuz baby...I've seen some people being BRUTAL on social media! I really don't understand why people tend to be so condescending and rude when opinions differ. The pandemic, the vaccine, it's all new to EVERYBODY. In my opinion, it is important for the masses to be as safe as possible while also respecting each other and how they go about dealing with it.
I believe I've made my final decision. I considered going about this whole process surreptitiously, but I came to the conclusion that sharing my thought process and experience might help somebody in making theirs. So, I'll keep you all posted. My advice to anyone who is on the fence like me, try to get your information about the vaccine from reputable resources, make your decision based on what makes YOU feel comfortable, and like I think is important in most situations, go with your gut! 

So I was thinking about today being inauguration day and where I was on this day 12 years ago. Get a load of this story...In 2009 I was in DC sprawled out at the National Mall, colder than I had ever been before in my life, which is saying a lot for a Chicago native. Let me go back a bit. My friends and I had driven down 2 days before on the worst road trip I've been on in my entire life. There were 4 of us in my SUV, I drove most of the way, but that wasn't the problem. (So I thought. Years later all my passengers told me they were afraid while I was driving! 😰🤦🏾‍♀️)The problem was we were in a BLIZZARD going through MOUNTAINS! And if I recall correctly, my windshield wipers were wonky. 😰 And that's just where the series of unfortunate events BEGAN. When we got to my friend's cousin's house where we were staying, I got in the shower and when I got out, I fell on my face because my back went out! I had never felt such pain!! It was pretty scary because I could NOT get up. I scooted on my stomach into the bedroom, my friends covered me with a towel, and I had to be lifted up on the bed. In short, I ended up getting some type of muscle relaxer and/or pain medication and I was eventually able to stand/walk, and went about my day. Fast forward to the 20th. We get up at the crack of dawn, bundle up, make sure phones are charged, and head out on the Metro to the National Mall. There were so many others doing the same. It was quite the sight to see! Thousands of us waited for probably about 8 hours in the biting cold to see the inauguration of our nation's first Black President. There were several times I wanted to throw in the towel and say forget it, I'm going back to the house and just catch it on TV. But I stayed and I'm glad I did. Even though I was uncomfortably cold, threatening frostbite and hypothermia, the energy of the atmosphere made me stay put. The air was charged with a hopefulness and unity that I had never experienced. This was one part of history where I'm proud to say I had a proverbial front row seat. But it wasn't all good!
Quick recap before I go on: There was the scary journey through a blizzard and mountains (which I forgot to mention was at night), back went out, and camped out in freezing almost unbearable cold for several hours...but wait...there's MORE! Once the crowd started to disperse and we headed toward the Metro to go home, pain shot through my back again and I needed to sit for a bit. I'm pretty sure I said aloud that I needed to sit, but nobody in my group heard me. I didn't rest for long, but when I got up, my peeps were no where to be found! By this time, my phone had died and I only knew ONE person's number in my group by heart. On TOP of the night, the cell towers and trains had been shut down, so when I found somebody's phone to use, the one person whose number I knew went straight to voicemail! I ended up waiting and wandering around by myself until the trains began to run again. Luckily I remembered where to go and made it home safely, but imagine how lonely, nervous and even scared I was for a couple hours in a place I had never been before with throngs of strangers, and no phone. What a story I have to tell my grandkids one day. This was the BEST WORST trip ever! 
Today, there is once a again a hopeful energy felt virtually across the nation. We're hoping for a better 4 years than the last, we're hoping for an end to the pandemic, we're hoping for equality, we're hoping for economic rebuilding, we're hoping for opportunity, and the list goes on. There's also a feeling of pride in the history that is being made by Kamala Harris being sworn in as the FIRST woman and FIRST Black Vice President. Due to the pandemic, we can't gather in celebration, but the celebratory mood is definitely felt. Plus, I'll never go to another inauguration again in my life time. Been there and don't wanna do that NO MO! LOL...
I pray that today and the days to come are filled with peace and harmony. In the words of my former pastor, "Forward ever, backwards never!"

So I was thinking about everything I have going on right now. I had been sitting here watching the news for about 2 hours or so and as the goings on in our nation played out like the season finale of a dramatic political series like Scandal or House of Cards, I chose to celebrate. All of that, coupled with other unfortunate news I received today, was just way too much for me to deal with at the moment. So, I turned the news off. I'm not denying the reality of what's happening, but I'm protecting the peace of my personal reality by focusing on the joyous parts of my life.
I began working on some things personally and professionally last year and am excited to be able to share some with you as we dive into the new year. A few years ago I had a blog, along with my friend Shari, called The Optimistic Divorcees. You can actually find a few of our archived posts on this site. Being divorcees ourselves, we established the blog to highlight the happy and fulfilling life that is possible post divorce. We shared stories of our experiences in marriage, divorce, dating, co-parenting, travel, etc, while also commissioning other divorcees to share their stories. Our intent was to provide a relatable outlet and to encourage and uplift other men and women who were at the same stage or had experienced the same stage of life. We ended up taking the party over to Periscope for a while, but then life happened and we no longer blogged or appeared on Periscope. After a lengthy hiatus, I'm excited to announce the return of The Optimistic Divorcees, but in podcast form! The Optimistic Divorcees Podcast will officially launch February 8, 2021, so save the date! In the meantime, you can find our introductory episode on Apple, Spotify, and Stitcher!! We also had the chance to be guests on The MKOS, For Women Only Show with Melissa Fredericks aka MrsKevOnStage AND on the Faith Over Everything Podcast with host Faith Wimberly (Which can be found wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts). We had a blast recording both! 
The podcast will air weekly on Mondays. Please stay tuned and go ahead and subscribe to the podcast on either of the platforms I mentioned! Follow us on IG: @TheOptDivorcees. Also join our mailing list to stay in the loop! http://eepurl.com/hm9QTT (if the link doesn't work, copy and paste in your browser). 

So I was thinking that 2020 was one HELLUVA year, heavy on the hell! Amirite?? I know I've mentioned/written about it a few times already, but I think a year like this is worth the talk! I do try to accentuate the positive as often as possible and that's what I want to do with this last post of the year. Many times it seemed as though the bad times outweighed the good and there was plenty to complain about, but I want to end the year by highlighting 20 positive things in my life from the last year. In no particular order...some big, some small, some heart warming, some silly and ALL good!

1. Hip-hip hooray, for HSA! - For those who don't know, HSA stands for Health Savings Account and it is an account where you set aside money, pre-tax, usually through your employer. You receive a Visa or MC debit card and it can be used for medical expenses such as co-pays or prescriptions. But did you know it can also be used for certain over the counter medicines as well as items like lotions and feminine products? 🙌🏾
2. All God's children got robes - Well at least I do! LOL...I've been asking for a nice robe for Christmas for years and never got it, so this year I ordered one for myself; nice and cozy with a hood from...you'll never guess...Fashion Nova! Little did I know, my mother had decided to finally grant my request and she got me a robe for Christmas! Now this child's got TWO robes! 😆
3. Let's take a long walk... - This summer, into the early fall, I spent lots of time outside. I didn't feel comfortable going to anybody's gym, even after they opened back up, so I found other ways to stay active. I participated in a couple outdoor classes, went bike riding a time or two, walked the track a few days a week at 5AM and went to several different trails for long walks/light hikes. I would walk anywhere from 3 up to 10 miles! (I did 10 miles twice and thought I was gonna die. 😰I learned that 8 miles is my safe limit!) It was refreshing to be out and about in that way, especially since there wasn't much else to do this summer. Now if I could only get an indoor exercise routine in place while it's cold...
4. Comfort is key - I have never worn, let alone owned so may joggers, leggings, and hoodies before in my entire life. For 9 months, from morning to evening, my main wardrobe has consisted of those things along with t-shirts, sports bras, shorts, and pajamas. This is probably the most consistent physical comfort I've felt in all my 15,000+ days.
5. Who needs a library card? - Not me! I ordered a gang of extraordinary books and I can't wait to get more. I think I'm into books like some folk are into shoes. I can never have too many, even if I don't quite get around to reading them all, lol. You're welcome Amazon, Target, and ThriftBooks.
6. Every penny counts... - ...so I'm thankful for the lil raise I got at work. Seriously, with many people having lost their jobs, to even be able to still work every day is a blessing. 
7. Paid in full. - With travel and other extracurricular activities being limited, it was a bit easier to be disciplined. I paid off some bills, made arrangements on others, and I'm excited about the path I'm on as a result.
8. I found my person! - Probably not who you think though, lol! After years of botched haircuts, barbers over promising and under delivering, and disappointing referrals, I found the perfect barber! I received the best haircut of my life in Februrary, then COVID hit, barber shops were closed for a while, and I started back letting my hair grow. At least I know where to go now when I get the next big chop urge!
9. I'm alive! - I never stayed sleep, had no fatal accidents, and didn't succumb to any diseases. I'm thankful for that now more than ever!
10. Pomp and Circumstance - My son graduated from high school. Coronavirus (in my Cardi B voice) was a blessing in disguise to my household. The sudden transition to remote learning was a life saver. The virtual graduation wasn't ideal, but I've never been so ecstatic to see somebody's name and picture pop up on a screen!
11. Hi, I'm a Couch Potato. Nice to meet you! - Growing up, I LOVED TV and movies. I can remember and sing most commercials and theme songs from my childhood. When I hit my late 20s, early 30s, I got rid of cable and didn't miss it because good programming had become scarce anyway. When I did have cable, I only watched a couple channels. It got to the point where I could go for months without even turning the television on. When the various streaming services were introduced, there was more variety and better programming, but I could still go without for an extended period of time. I have definitely made up for all the time I missed. And it isn't only because I'm "stuck" in the house, but the quality of television just really seems to be at an all time high. Some of my favorites? Schitt's Creek, Jingle Jangle, This is Us, Good Girls, Little Fires Everywhere, Black-ish, Love is Blind, and Love on the Spectrum...just to name a few. I must admit, I do feel like I'll need to take a break from the "idiot box" at some point. Lol!!
12. I love the 90s! - Speaking of good TV, the revival of black sitcoms from the 90s (and early 2000s) on Netflix has been a treat. The sweet nostalgia was welcomed during these times, not to mention how shows like Girlfriends hit different since I've lived some life!
13. I'm obsessed. - The other way to my heart besides books? Some good pens and cute, yet efficient planners and journals! You can never have too many of these either!! I just snagged some really great journals (I have my every day journal, a prayer journal, and a therapy journal), my MKOS planner, and some nifty Rae Dunn pens. I'm super excited. It's the little things. 😉
14. Young Frankenstein - My youngest niece started walking a little before her 1st birthday in October and y'all KNOW when babies first start walking they look like a mix between Frankenstein and Fred Sanford! 😂It's the cutest thing to watch and brings me so much joy. 😍🥰
15. Surf, no turf - Lobster tails + 8 minutes in the air fryer = pescatarian bliss!
16. Teddy Riley and Babyface - Enough said. Unless you've been under a rock, you know what went down. Watching these 2 legends in a Verzuz battle was entertaining and the memes that came after kept me in stitches for days...maybe even weeks. It was just what we needed.
17. Allow me to reintroduce myself. - I revamped and relaunched my blog and business. It was on my to-do list for the year and I'm proud of myself for seeing it through. Onward and upward from here!
18. Creative juices are flowing. - I've been blessed with some awesome writing and creative opportunities this year and have been diligently working on some projects that will be revealed to the masses throughout 2021! I'm uber excited, a tad nervous, and all the way ready. It's my time!
19. Joe, we did it! - Biden/Harris 2020. History making. They're not perfect (who is?), but undoubtedly an improvement. Let's work!
20. My therapist said... - Last but certainly not least, I found my other person! I've been unsuccessful in my search for a therapist over the years. I've done a lot of the "work" on my own, but I was still in search of a professional touch to help me do the rest. I've only had 2 sessions and it has been a bit overwhelming, but not in a bad way. It's just that so much stuff has come up and been presented to me to think about and unpack, ALREADY! Another thing I'm ready for though! Anything to make me better and help me grow.

I hope you're also able to reflect on some good from 2020 and not just dwell on the bad. I pray for better days ahead for each of us and am thankful for the strength and resiliency that has been revealed in many of us. I am walking into 2021 with great expectation! Please feel free to share any 2020 reflections in the comments. I love to hear from you! Happy New Year!!

So I was thinking about the holidays and all the loss so many have experienced this year. 2020 has been a year unlike any that the majority of us have seen in our lifetime. The pandemic has managed to increase unemployment, cancel major milestone celebrations, postpone travel, steal hope, opportunity, and even lives. All of this added to the usual trials and tribulations of life. I have NEVER extended so many condolences in one year as I have in 2020. During this holiday season, my heart goes out to all who have experienced such major losses this year. It breaks my heart that we can't gather to not only celebrate the good times that have snuck in here and there, but to mourn with and comfort those who are dealing with the loss of a loved one. 
The holidays are rough for a lot of people anyway, myself included at times, but this year takes the cake. I sincerely pray that during this season, people are able to see at least a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel. I pray that they are able to realize and grasp on to an ounce of hope at minimum. I pray that people are able to maintain faith like the grain of a mustard seed at best. I pray that we are able to feel and accept love being bestowed upon us and that it is enough to encourage our hearts and help us to hold on to the light and the hope and the faith. 
What is your prayer for this holiday season? Share with me in the comments!
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