So I was thinking about this happiness challenge I just completed. A year ago, my friend Shari and I embarked on a "100 Happy Days Challenge". We had been discussing where we were on our happiness journey and I reminded her of this challenge I had done about 5 years prior. The 100 Happy Days Challenge was started by Dmitry Golubnichy in 2013. It was a personal challenge he established where he would post something that made him happy each day for 100 days. He began this journey after finding himself discontent with his career and other "first world" problems, but then realized that his friends were happy with circumstances that were seemingly mundane. Dmitry figured if they could be happy, certainly he could too. He decided to post a picture on social media for 100 days that reflected something that made him happy that day and used the hashtag #100HappyDays. As his friends noticed what he was doing, they wanted to join. From there, the challenge continued to grow and more than EIGHT MILLION people have participated! You can find out more about this movement by clicking here. After I recounted to Shari how rewarding the challenge had been for me, she decided that she wanted to do it and I agreed to join her again. The challenge proved to be such a fulfilling endeavor, that we decided to extend it to a year and continued to post using the hashtag, #365HappyDays.


I am pleased to say that we finished the challenge yesterday and it was just that, a CHALLENGE. If I didn't understand the concept of the word, I undeniably do now! Heartache, death, disappointment, illness, rejection, confusion, mental illness, fear; these, among others, are all things I encountered that effected me either directly or indirectly during this last year. There were many days where it was a legitimate struggle to find something that made me happy during the day, but I did and learned (and remembered) so much during the process. One major key I recalled is that being happy does not mean being devoid of struggle or pain. Happiness is about choice, perspective, and emotional maturity. Emotional maturity is this: acknowledging your various emotions, allowing yourself to feel, and realizing that it isn't healthy to suppress your feelings OR dwell on your feelings to the point that they become toxic. By sticking with this challenge, I have clarity of what happiness is to me. Check out these 10 points.


Happiness is:

• Living life to the fullest. The life God has given me and this earth God has blessed us with is unlimited in what they have to offer and I’m going to take advantage of as much as I can while I’m here!
• Not worrying about things I can’t change. There is no benefit to worry, ESPECIALLY when it comes to what I have no control over. Worry causes stress which causes illness and in the words of the ever so eloquent Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time fa dat!”
• Changing the things I can. If I’m not happy with my weight, my career, my finances, etc., , I have the autonomy to change those things. It may not be easy, but I can make the diligent effort to adjust, and eventually I WILL have the change I want.
• Surrounding myself with good energy. I do everything within my power to frequent places and be around people with nothing but good vibes and positive energy. If that isn’t the case, I bounce! ✌🏾
• Having faith in the omniscient God I claim to believe in. Believing that He has my back, knows what’s best, and is working everything out for my good helps to alleviate worry about any obstacles I may face.
• Not waiting to do/say/go/see. Why put off tomorrow what can be done today? I’m working on being more intentional about doing what I want to do, when I want to do it, and not always waiting for someone else or for the “right” time or the perfect weather or anything else that is simply contributing to my procrastination and may be holding me back from a rewarding experience.
• Taking care of my mind, body, and spirit. I’ve made it a priority to read more, I’ve changed my diet (and still working on making that even better), and I’m back to making sure that my spirit is consistently fed.
• Admitting when I’m wrong, apologizing, and doing better. This realization has mostly come about due to my experiences with my teenager. Just because I’m the adult and the parent, doesn’t mean I’m never wrong. I also should never be too prideful to apologize. I’m still a work in progress, but as I move toward being better, I see how even slight changes effect (or affect? Y’all, this still gets me!! LOL!) my son and when he’s happy, I’m happy!
• Choosing to learn from mistakes and using failures as stepping stones to success. Pretty self-explanatory and another work in progress. I’m realizing more and more that I can’t beat myself up for mistakes. I have to learn and move on. Because I KNOW better, I’ll DO better, and outcomes will BE better!
• Protecting my peace. I will do this at all costs. If it means distancing myself from a close loved one, not attending certain events, not being involved in particular activities, etc., I MUST do it. Peace is one of the main ingredients in my happiness recipe!

In the midst of the trials I was confronted with during this challenge, I was able to focus on aspects of each day that made me happy. And, out of everything that brightened my day, it was the 3 Fs that prevailed; family, friends, and food! 😁
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Focusing on positivity and finding my daily happy, caused me to have more of an attitude of gratefulness, which transformed my perspective. I found myself in more of a state of thankfulness than in pity-party mode. There really is always a bright side, and for that I am happy. ☀️🙂

So I was thinking about job interviews and how I loathe them. Lol...but for real! It’s extremely hard for me to “sell” myself and answer those stupid questions they ask you at every interview. The words “tell me about a time” make me want to tear my ears off and rip somebody’s tongue out. 😩 I can’t “tell you about a time” Susan, because that ish has never happened to me or it HAS happened, but every time I get in an interview, I get a chronic case of temporary amnesia, so I really don’t know what to tell ya. Where do I see myself in 5 years?? Prayerfully, some place far far away from here, finally doing what I love. Becks, truth is, right now I just need to be closer to the crib, doing what I gotta do until I don’t have to do it anymore. Ya feel me?? Why do I think I’m a good fit? Because it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to do what you’re asking. And you’re in luck, cuz I’m no rocket scientist, although I’m probably way smarter than you, which doesn’t matter since you’re the one asking the questions while I sit here with excessive dry mouth and disgustingly sweaty palms...These are all things I want to say or am thinking, but I replace it with some semi-intelligent, what I hope is convincing, tell’em what they wanna hear bs...


Now, what I CAN do is write and if given the time, opportunity, computer or pen and paper, I could knock these interviews out of the ballpark! Like seriously, why can’t interviews just be like essay questions on an exam??


You know the other thing I hate about interviews? The fact that per HR policy a certain number of interviews have to be done within the company or whatever the stipulations are for conducting interviews even though they may already know who they want to hire. Recruiters, hiring managers, or to whomever else this may concern, if you see my name up for a position where this is the case, please do NOT pass go. Skip on by me, k? And stop kee keeing with or grinning at me and oohing and aahing about my answers making me think I got this in the bag and you KNOW you have the “Thanks for coming out, but we’re going with another candidate and you’ll no longer be considered for this position but you can keep applying” email ready to send in your drafts! And even if you don’t know, I’d rather interviewers keep the poker face. Don’t get my hopes all up with your flattering reactions and body language.


Can you hear the rejection and bruised ego in my tone here?? 😫😢 I hope whoever was hired instead of me, quits their first week...(sets reminder to remove my website from my email signature when corresponding with a potential employer🤣).

So I was thinking about Candy Crush and the epiphany I had while playing. First off, don’t be coming on here judging me. Yes I still play Candy Crush. And yes, I make in-app purchases. It’s my escape! 😂 Anywaaaaaay, I woke up at 4:30am to use the bathroom, came back to bed, and started playing Candy Crush. Now, even though I consider the game as an escape, a way to just relax and rid my mind of the cares of life, there are those times when my brain actually functions while playing and I contemplate life’s (at least my life’s) greatest mysteries. Somehow, as a rainbow of candy colors exploded across my screen and the corresponding points flashed brightly and ostentatiously before my eyes, my mind wandered to a(nother) dating app I’ve joined. I haven’t an inkling as to how the vast array of hues and the spontaneous bursts of the sweet treats on my cellular device led me to thoughts of my drastically less colorful or sweet love life, but alas, here we are.


The app I recently joined is BLK. It’s much like all the others; Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, etc. What makes this one stand out is that the majority of the potentials are black. So, the thought I had was that I didn’t turn on the notifications. I established my profile, did a few swipey swipes, didn’t approve notifications, then didn’t look at the thing for about a week. When I went back on after that time, I had several messages which I responded to, but still didn’t turn on the notifications, and now another week or so has passed and I probably have more messages. Could be. Could be not. Who’s to say? Whatever the case may be, this flash of reflection thrust me into a vortex of thoughts surrounding my dating experiences and the consistence of nonexistence when it comes to my relationship status. As I quickly plummeted down that black hole, I was struck with a realization I had, surprisingly, never before pondered. I have a thorough, comprehensive list that I’ve compiled and tweaked over the years of everything I want and need in a man/relationship. But the one thing I didn’t include or emphasize or require with any man I’ve dated/talked to/liked is that the person needs to be sincerely interested in me.
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Let me see if I can articulate this clearly. As I reflected, I recognized that the men I’ve dealt with all had a lot going on, whether it was in their current job/career, a dream they were trying to fulfill, a skill they were perfecting, a degree they were pursuing, a family issue they needed to rectify, or even an internal/mental struggle they needed to control or come to grips with. I was always the sounding board, the encourager, the helper, the brainstormer, and/or the pseudo-therapist. But what about me? What about how I feel?? I’ve had tons going on over the years. Even as far back as my ex-husband, nobody really showed much interest in MY thoughts, feelings, hobbies, dreams, etc. Things were always pretty surface and one-sided. What I need is a person who is genuinely concerned with my desires, pursuits, fears, triumphs, failures, and joys. We can bounce ideas off each other, be a listening ear to each other, encourage each other, etc. etc. That’s what I’ve been missing!!


Yep. All this from an early morning trip to the bathroom and a frivolous (or is it?) game on my phone. Maybe now that I’m aware of this huge element I’ve been lacking, I can attract a love as colorful and sweet as Candy Crush...

So I was thinking about Solange's new album, When I Get Home, that I just listened to. Chiiiiiiiiiillllllle. I work overnights, so I listened about an hour ago and now it's a little after 4 in the morning and I cannot WAIT to see what her fans/stans/bandwagon jumpers have to say. I wonder if they're going to love it the way they obsessed over A Seat at the Table. I didn't like that album. It wasn't HORRIBLE to me, but I gave it a couple listens and did not fall in love like most people I know did. I can't even remember anything from that album aside from Cranes in the Sky because that was played out everywhere...a song title, lyric, melody, NOTHING can I recall! 
Since I seemed to be drastically outnumbered when it came to my opinion of her last album, I decided that I needed to give her new stuff a try. I thought that maybe I would find in this new album what was missing for me in the last one.  *insert eye-roll here* I want my 39 minutes back, plus interest. I mean, that should tell you something there. The album has 19 tracks, which includes about 5 interludes, and it is only 39 minutes long. And when I think about it, I'm glad because I would not have been able to endure another nanosecond. The psychedelic music was distracting and the repetition of some of her words/phrases was annoying. Furthermore, I mostly couldn't understand what the heck she was saying, not because her lyrics were so deep or her subject matter was so heavy, but simply because I couldn't understand her melodic mumbles and groanings. Then, when I COULD make out words, I still didn't know what on erf she was talking about. I actually think I blacked out a time or two. LOL! 
Don' t get me wrong, I think she's extremely gifted and I like her earlier albums. These new school tunes aren't doing it for me though. It isn't just her, but I can't get with a lot of the current music. I LOVE all types of music, but the older I get, the shorter my attention span, the shallower my understanding, and the more clogged my ears. Ain't nobody got time to be deciphering the meaning or lyrics. Lol. I could listen to my trusty 90s/early 2000s music all day everyday. I've even been incorporating more music from the 70s and 80s for my everyday listening pleasure. As a matter of fact, excuse me while I listen to my James Ingram playlist. :-)