20/20

So I was thinking about how this is my son's senior year of high school. I dropped him off for his first day a few hours ago. As the day approached, I anxiously worried myself into a frenzy. For some reason, I’ve just felt really overwhelmed, nervous, and...terrified if I’m being completely honest!
This is a huge deal! It’s the end of high school, the end of “childhood”, and the beginning of the rest of his life. And, I’m just worried that he isn’t ready. My baby is still a baby and I don’t know if he’s ready to grow up! I know what you’re probably thinking, “Cheryce, YOU’RE the one who isn’t ready for him to grow up!” That isn’t it. Really. I actually felt excited that he’s getting closer to 18 and almost out of my hair. I was ready to let him go spread his wings and figure out this thing called life for himself, ESPECIALLY since he thinks he knows it all already! Who was I kidding though?! Him getting older just brings about a new set of concerns and a different level or stage of parenting.
As his senior year drew near, I was extremely reflective and stressing majorly over everything from his haircut to clothes, from grades to college acceptance, from graduation fees to prom costs, and every little thing you can think of in between. I harshly critiqued my parenting and shoulda, coulda, woulda’d myself to smithereens. My boy has endured way more in his little life than I ever intended. Situations we’ve ended up in haven’t always been ideal and he’s had many challenges to deal with, go through, and overcome. Although not always easy, many times frustrating and upsetting, I’m proud of my son for his strength and resilience. However, I was a MESS thinking about it all...just really TRIPPIN! Even as I write this, I’m realizing that even though hindsight is always 20/20, there’s nothing I can do to change or fix the past. What I CAN do is move forward with 20/20 vision for what’s right in front of me and for what’s ahead. I can stop beating myself up for what I think I could’ve done better or differently and use previous mistakes and experiences as lessons and stepping stones. I’ll continue to do my best as a parent, using any previous mistakes and experiences as lessons and stepping stones. I’ll keep encouraging my child to do and be his best, applaud him for his victories, congratulate him on how far he’s come, affirm his greatness, lovingly push him to his potential, and in the process, enjoy what life has to offer through it all. As a result, I’m certain this will be his best year yet! Salute to my wonderful child and all the class of 2020!