So I was thinking about this phrase that some of my friends and I have jokingly repeated for over 20 years now. Let me give you a little background. An incident happened years ago at the church where I grew up. I don't know if it was during Sunday School or a young adult bible study or what, but this particular day one of the ministers shared a "fact" that one of the attendees just found to be utterly ridiculous and nonsensical. And in her signature high pitched voice, she exclaimed, "Bro.______________, YOU WORRIED 'BOUT THE WROOOOONG THING!" It was funny then and it is STILL hilarious all these years later to those of us who were there and/or have heard this story a million times!
That phrase is in regular rotation of sayings that I repeat from movies, songs, other funny happenings, etc, but for some reason it has been on a loop in my brain for the last couple weeks (and always in the originator's voice, lol). Although the origin story is comical and the sentence is not really grammatically correct, I feel like it is chock full of wisdom! It can be a profoundly simple reminder that many times, we worry about things that don't even matter! For me, in the last year or so, that has become more and more evident. With so much unexpected turmoil and loss in the world, I'm realizing how insignificant many things are. But, I think that little sentence has been at the forefront of my thoughts more often, because I've apparently been slipping and letting my ego, fears, insecurities, expectations, past mistakes, unforgiveness, etc, take me to a place of worry that I don't need to be in. There's so much more that I should/could be focusing on like the present, moving forward, helping others, relationships, working on the areas that I have the power to change, pushing toward my goals...most of all my focus should be on taking all fear, worries, problems, uncertainties, etcetera, etcetera, to the God I profess to believe in and serve!
I must add that I also like to use this phrase on my almost 19 year old who is CONSISTENTLY worried about the wrong thing! LOL...so what are you worried about that you shouldn't be? What has you spiraling or has been trying to knock you off your square?? What things do you think REALLY matter in the long run? Share with me in the comments! In the meantime, when you find yourself overcome with worry over something trivial or beyond your control or maybe not even your business, look yourself in the mirror and say, "YOU WORRIED 'BOUT THE WROOOOOONG THING!"
So I was thinking about yesterday, trying to find the words to clearly express what I feel. Like many of you, I was happy and relieved upon the announcement of the verdict in the Chauvin case. Guilty of all charges is what I wanted to hear...it's the only thing that makes sense...I would think his guilt was obviously beyond reasonable doubt...but even with the undeniable evidence and truth, I wasn't expecting it. And that part made me sad, that we can't just expect justice because it's right. What makes me even more sad is that we continue to find ourselves in this same scenario. It's like a really depressing, exhausting, and cruel, remake of the movie, Groundhog's Day.
Even in our celebrating, I think we were all aware that this is just the beginning and there is much more work to be done within the police and justice systems. But, we couldn't even focus on that celebration and the plans going forward for a full evening without mourning the MURDER of ANOTHER young, Black GIRL who sought out help from the folk in place to protect and serve, but was instead SHOT TO DEATH by the cop who was supposed to be there to help. Why the hell are these people joining the force if they are so AFRAID, that their first reaction is shooting to kill. Are they not taught deescalation techniques? Do they not know how to intelligently and objectively assess a situation and respond accordingly?? Are Black people (of all ages) really that terrifying and threatening?!? Why would such scary people choose a career in law enforcement?! I can't stand blood and vomit and gore and sickness, so I should pursue a career as a doctor or nurse, right? Since I'm afraid of heights, clearly my career choice should be a pilot, right?! Please make it make sense!! I'm at a loss...
So I was thinking about how it's hard to live when life is happening. And I don't mean that in a suicidal way. I just mean when I have lots of 💩 going on, sometimes I want to say, "Eff everything and everybody while I deal with this or that!" It reminds me of Beyonce's line in the song Feeling Myself, "I stop the world, world stop...carry on." But since I'm not Queen Bey and the world doesn't revolve around me and life goes on regardless of what's going on in my life, I must keep on pushing. And guess what. That kinda sucks. The completely human, only slightly optimistic, totally exhausted, partially faith filled side of me just wants to crawl in my bed, soak my pillow with tears, wallow in my troubles, gorge my worries, abandon the gig and any other projects I have, and be obnoxiously self-absorbed. That's it. That's the blog. There is no light at the end of the tunnel message. There's no all things working together for my/your good encouragement. It's just my raw, honest feelings at the moment that I'm letting just be and wanted to share. Maybe you can relate. Maybe not. But, that's what I was thinking.
So I was thinking about how QUICKLY this hiatus went by and *in my Kevin Hart voice* I wasn't ready! I wasn't blogging, but I definitely kept busy and of COURSE I was always thinking. The break was much needed, and even though the time seemed to fly, I'm excited to share my random thoughts with all 17 of you again! 😂 Here's a quick run-through of some of the thoughts that have invaded my head as of late.