So I was thinking about Candy Crush and the epiphany I had while playing. First off, don’t be coming on here judging me. Yes I still play Candy Crush. And yes, I make in-app purchases. It’s my escape! 😂 Anywaaaaaay, I woke up at 4:30am to use the bathroom, came back to bed, and started playing Candy Crush. Now, even though I consider the game as an escape, a way to just relax and rid my mind of the cares of life, there are those times when my brain actually functions while playing and I contemplate life’s (at least my life’s) greatest mysteries. Somehow, as a rainbow of candy colors exploded across my screen and the corresponding points flashed brightly and ostentatiously before my eyes, my mind wandered to a(nother) dating app I’ve joined. I haven’t an inkling as to how the vast array of hues and the spontaneous bursts of the sweet treats on my cellular device led me to thoughts of my drastically less colorful or sweet love life, but alas, here we are.
The app I recently joined is BLK. It’s much like all the others; Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, etc. What makes this one stand out is that the majority of the potentials are black. So, the thought I had was that I didn’t turn on the notifications. I established my profile, did a few swipey swipes, didn’t approve notifications, then didn’t look at the thing for about a week. When I went back on after that time, I had several messages which I responded to, but still didn’t turn on the notifications, and now another week or so has passed and I probably have more messages. Could be. Could be not. Who’s to say? Whatever the case may be, this flash of reflection thrust me into a vortex of thoughts surrounding my dating experiences and the consistence of nonexistence when it comes to my relationship status. As I quickly plummeted down that black hole, I was struck with a realization I had, surprisingly, never before pondered. I have a thorough, comprehensive list that I’ve compiled and tweaked over the years of everything I want and need in a man/relationship. But the one thing I didn’t include or emphasize or require with any man I’ve dated/talked to/liked is that the person needs to be sincerely interested in me.
Let me see if I can articulate this clearly. As I reflected, I recognized that the men I’ve dealt with all had a lot going on, whether it was in their current job/career, a dream they were trying to fulfill, a skill they were perfecting, a degree they were pursuing, a family issue they needed to rectify, or even an internal/mental struggle they needed to control or come to grips with. I was always the sounding board, the encourager, the helper, the brainstormer, and/or the pseudo-therapist. But what about me? What about how I feel?? I’ve had tons going on over the years. Even as far back as my ex-husband, nobody really showed much interest in MY thoughts, feelings, hobbies, dreams, etc. Things were always pretty surface and one-sided. What I need is a person who is genuinely concerned with my desires, pursuits, fears, triumphs, failures, and joys. We can bounce ideas off each other, be a listening ear to each other, encourage each other, etc. etc. That’s what I’ve been missing!!
Yep. All this from an early morning trip to the bathroom and a frivolous (or is it?) game on my phone. Maybe now that I’m aware of this huge element I’ve been lacking, I can attract a love as colorful and sweet as Candy Crush...