Happiness is...

So I was thinking about this happiness challenge I just completed. A year ago, my friend Shari and I embarked on a "100 Happy Days Challenge". We had been discussing where we were on our happiness journey and I reminded her of this challenge I had done about 5 years prior. The 100 Happy Days Challenge was started by Dmitry Golubnichy in 2013. It was a personal challenge he established where he would post something that made him happy each day for 100 days. He began this journey after finding himself discontent with his career and other "first world" problems, but then realized that his friends were happy with circumstances that were seemingly mundane. Dmitry figured if they could be happy, certainly he could too. He decided to post a picture on social media for 100 days that reflected something that made him happy that day and used the hashtag #100HappyDays. As his friends noticed what he was doing, they wanted to join. From there, the challenge continued to grow and more than EIGHT MILLION people have participated! You can find out more about this movement by clicking here. After I recounted to Shari how rewarding the challenge had been for me, she decided that she wanted to do it and I agreed to join her again. The challenge proved to be such a fulfilling endeavor, that we decided to extend it to a year and continued to post using the hashtag, #365HappyDays.


I am pleased to say that we finished the challenge yesterday and it was just that, a CHALLENGE. If I didn't understand the concept of the word, I undeniably do now! Heartache, death, disappointment, illness, rejection, confusion, mental illness, fear; these, among others, are all things I encountered that effected me either directly or indirectly during this last year. There were many days where it was a legitimate struggle to find something that made me happy during the day, but I did and learned (and remembered) so much during the process. One major key I recalled is that being happy does not mean being devoid of struggle or pain. Happiness is about choice, perspective, and emotional maturity. Emotional maturity is this: acknowledging your various emotions, allowing yourself to feel, and realizing that it isn't healthy to suppress your feelings OR dwell on your feelings to the point that they become toxic. By sticking with this challenge, I have clarity of what happiness is to me. Check out these 10 points.


Happiness is:

• Living life to the fullest. The life God has given me and this earth God has blessed us with is unlimited in what they have to offer and I’m going to take advantage of as much as I can while I’m here!
• Not worrying about things I can’t change. There is no benefit to worry, ESPECIALLY when it comes to what I have no control over. Worry causes stress which causes illness and in the words of the ever so eloquent Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time fa dat!”
• Changing the things I can. If I’m not happy with my weight, my career, my finances, etc., , I have the autonomy to change those things. It may not be easy, but I can make the diligent effort to adjust, and eventually I WILL have the change I want.
• Surrounding myself with good energy. I do everything within my power to frequent places and be around people with nothing but good vibes and positive energy. If that isn’t the case, I bounce! ✌🏾
• Having faith in the omniscient God I claim to believe in. Believing that He has my back, knows what’s best, and is working everything out for my good helps to alleviate worry about any obstacles I may face.
• Not waiting to do/say/go/see. Why put off tomorrow what can be done today? I’m working on being more intentional about doing what I want to do, when I want to do it, and not always waiting for someone else or for the “right” time or the perfect weather or anything else that is simply contributing to my procrastination and may be holding me back from a rewarding experience.
• Taking care of my mind, body, and spirit. I’ve made it a priority to read more, I’ve changed my diet (and still working on making that even better), and I’m back to making sure that my spirit is consistently fed.
• Admitting when I’m wrong, apologizing, and doing better. This realization has mostly come about due to my experiences with my teenager. Just because I’m the adult and the parent, doesn’t mean I’m never wrong. I also should never be too prideful to apologize. I’m still a work in progress, but as I move toward being better, I see how even slight changes effect (or affect? Y’all, this still gets me!! LOL!) my son and when he’s happy, I’m happy!
• Choosing to learn from mistakes and using failures as stepping stones to success. Pretty self-explanatory and another work in progress. I’m realizing more and more that I can’t beat myself up for mistakes. I have to learn and move on. Because I KNOW better, I’ll DO better, and outcomes will BE better!
• Protecting my peace. I will do this at all costs. If it means distancing myself from a close loved one, not attending certain events, not being involved in particular activities, etc., I MUST do it. Peace is one of the main ingredients in my happiness recipe!

In the midst of the trials I was confronted with during this challenge, I was able to focus on aspects of each day that made me happy. And, out of everything that brightened my day, it was the 3 Fs that prevailed; family, friends, and food! 😁
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Focusing on positivity and finding my daily happy, caused me to have more of an attitude of gratefulness, which transformed my perspective. I found myself in more of a state of thankfulness than in pity-party mode. There really is always a bright side, and for that I am happy. ☀️🙂