So I was thinking about my son and the complexities of parenting as a single, divorced mom. I was thinking about how there is no concrete formula for being a successful parent, how the decisions we make as parents impact our children, and how difficult it is to raise children. Mama nem never told me there would be days like some of the ones I've encountered in the last 16.5 years.
I really wish that someone had talked to me and given me the TRUE inside scoop on what it is to have children. I remember hearing the ideas of marriage and children being emphasized and applauded, but I don't recall anybody telling me the real deal about those life events, especially about having kids! Nobody mentioned to me that even if I followed the "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Cheryce with the baby carriage" ideology, I could still end up with a faded love, dissolved marriage, and just one person pushing that carriage. People talked about teething, potty training, and the terrible twos but they failed to mention the agonizing adolescence and tumultuous teens! All these things are extremely difficult when faced alone. Let me clarify, my son's father is 100% in his life, however, with us being in separate households, although we "co-parent", it's kinda like his father does his thing over there and I do my thing over here, while still trying to be on the same page. It's such a weird place to be in. If I'm being honest, many times I've wished that his father and I would have just stayed married and worked out some type of living arrangement. I understand more and more why people make the decision to "stay for the kids". Of course, it isn't good for children to witness unhealthy relationships. However, I also don't think that it was meant for children to be raised in single family households. It's like choosing the lesser of two evils. Either situation can be navigated with some level of success, but which one will have the greatest negative affect on the child (children)? Which has the potential to be most beneficial in the long run?
It's my prayer that people will start to take more time to think about how serious it is to become a parent. It's more than cute, cuddly babies and matching mother/daughter outfits. From the time of conception, every decision made has a direct or indirect affect on that child. We have the potential to make or break our children with every choice we make.