Originally posted on March 26, 2015
“I have to introduce you to my fiancé soon.” This is what I’m hearing on the other end of the phone as I’m finishing up a convo with my ex-husband about our son and how he’s being a typical pre-teen and I don’t like it. “Congrats”, I say. And I really mean it. For real. Hopefully the third time’s a charm. It wasn’t a surprise anyway since my boy usually keeps me abreast of these sorts of things without me even asking. He had already told me about a week prior that his dad was gonna propose soon, he had gotten the ring, she has a son, and yadda yadda yadda. I told my son that I was happy for his father and that my main concern is that the new Mrs. and her child, love him and treat him right.
Now I was fine with everything until the words came directly from his father’s lips to my ears into my consciousness, settling in the spot of my brain that causes me to envy, evaluate, and ponder my nonexistent love life. Not to mention that since we’re all cordial and “friends” and stuff for the sake of our son, we’re Facebook friends and now I get to see congrats and “likes” constantly pop up on my timeline because of course his status has changed to “engaged”…it was at 700 likes last I saw. Or how about the statuses that say, “out with my fiancé” or the picture collage for #WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday)?? You might be saying to yourself, “Does she want him back?!” or “You CAN’T be jealous of him having 2 failed marriages!” My answer is h-e-double hockey sticks NAW to both! I just can’t help but feel some type of way because I have not even had a BOYFRIEND in the last 11 years, heck I’ve BARELY even dated and here he is happily moving on to wife number 3. Talk about optimistic divorcee! He’s the ultimate. He told me before that he will keep getting married until he gets it right. I don’t know how healthy that is for him OR our son, but hey more power to him for keeping the faith and being persistent.
So guys, I don’t need y’all in the comments giving me the cliché advice or encouragement. I’ve heard it all anyway:
Cheryce you can have a man if you want, but you don’t want just ANY man.
Girl you will find someone when you’re not looking and you least expect it.
He’s not going to come to your doorstep, you need to get out more!
Don’t worry. Your husband is coming soon.
It will happen in God’s time. He’s preparing you/him for you now!
Have you tried online dating?
You’re too picky, you’ll stay single forever that way!
And the list goes on and on and on. I’m not depressed. This isn’t a cry out for any kind of help. It’s just a moment of transparency. I’m not tripping. At this point it is what it is and I’m fine with that. I will remain optimistic about life and love! I’m cute, smart, funny, ambitious, loving, and much more! My time is drawing near. I’m confident that the day will come where he will hear on the other end of the phone, “I have to introduce you to my fiancé soon.”
(Update: That didn't last too long. My ex did not marry that young lady, but he did get married for a third time, I think maybe the following year. I still reiterated that I hoped that the third time's a charm. Since this post, I have dated more and still am, but I'm still single and it's still all good.)
Cheryce F. Thompson and Shari Anderson
The Optimistic Divorcees was a blog co-created by myself and Shari. It was established, not to promote divorce, but as a platform to promote strength, courage, and happiness. We wanted to let people who were experiencing divorce know that there is a fulfilling life after divorce. We needed them to understand that they could be happy and content in their state, and know that no matter what, they were going to make it, and that they would find their happily ever after! On this blog we shared stories related to our marriages and divorces, our dating experiences, and other elements pertaining to life after divorce. We also welcomed other divorcees as guest bloggers to share their stories.