1/25/2019 5 Comments Own It!So I was thinking about how easy it can be at times to point out another person's faults, while completely ignoring our own. Why is that? How is it even possible to notice a speck in someone else's eye, when we have an entire freaking beam in our own? Is it narcissism that makes us comfortable in pointing a finger and not noticing the other fingers pointing right back at us? Does pride make us delusional and unable to recoginze our own flaws and missteps?? Or is it just plain selfishness, self-centeredness, and immaturity that makes us not accept responsibility for our own issues, makes us not look at the proverbial man in the mirror, but has us always peering at the man across the room?
I take the The 5 Love Languages quiz at least once a year (click here to find out more and/or to take the quiz). When I went to the site the other day, I saw something new called "apology languages". Like the 5 languages that are used to properly express love, Gary Chapman along with Jennifer Thomas have also identified 5 apology langauges to properly express regret. Also like the love languages, there is a quiz that determines what type of apology is most important to you or that you're most receptive to. My apology language is Accept Responsibility and this is the part of the descripion that stuck out to me: "...as adults, we must all admit that we make and will make mistakes. We are going to make poor decisions that hurt our mates (it says mates, but this also applies to children, friends, parents, etc), and we are going to have to admit that we were wrong. We have to accept responsibility for our own failures." I can't emphasize enough how important this is, not just when it's time to issue an apology, but in life period! We can be so quick to condemn and belittle others when they err, whether in general or against us, that it seems we are struck with temporary amnesia. When someone messes up in a different way than us, we tend to forget our evils and/or find ways to justify them! Let's all do better by,
5 Comments
Mary Thompson
1/25/2019 08:08:49 am
Good Good Good!!!I agree!
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Jay
1/25/2019 08:57:31 am
I read some where that people generally complain or criticize about others because they are hurting themselves. Once we (the offended) see things from a perspective of hurt people hurt others because of their own issues, it makes it easier to deal with them when and if offensives come about. It's important to be comfortable with yourself to avoid letting the words of others to sting so harshly. Its a difficult task, but an important one to keep happiness and inner peace.
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Dori
1/25/2019 10:56:57 pm
Great post, very articulate. Part of loving someone means caring enough to apologize so it makes sense that love language and apology language go hand in hand. It takes about 7-8 positive experiences to overshadow one negative one so there is no way to make a healthy relationship work without being able communicate about the things that go wrong. I should take the quizzes...
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Cheryce
1/28/2019 08:33:45 pm
Do it and let me know what you get!
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Faith
1/28/2019 08:22:23 pm
This was really well said? Gems indeed.
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